So there’s this lady, Gretchen Rubin, who made a pact with herself a number of years ago to ‘be happy.’ She went about it in a very scientific manner, studying all kinds of philosophical, psychological and logistical methods for improving happiness to find out which one would work in various situations. She turned this study into the Happiness Project, an online resource of insights, tips, and interviews with happy people in the form of a daily blog, which she dutifully writes 6 days of every week. She has a list of 12 life commandments which she’s developed for herself, and encourages everyone to write their own list and begin their own Happiness Project.
I can’t decide if I this is incredibly thoughtful, useful, or self-indulgent. It kind of reminds me of those online quizzes, or the “25 Random Things About Me” on Facebook over-sharing kind of internet phenomena, like this here blog.
I am a fan of over-sharing. I don’t know why, or what aspect of my personality finds it so appealing to tell everyone everything about myself, but I find that when I meet people I have an overwhelming desire to recount all the daily minutia of my life. I guess that’s why the “25 Things” activity, and others like it - which land in my email inbox every so often (“what’s your favourite flower?” “when’s the last time you cried?”) appeal to me so much. Guilty pleasure. If I dig a little more deeply, I guess I have a fear of seeming boring or socially retarded as I can be kind of quiet and awkward, so I overcompensate with factoids. I make a great cocktail party guest. I nod a lot.
My suspicion is that writing stuff down makes me more clearly able to assess. Or writing down certain answers makes me feel good about the kind of person I am or ought to be. Weird.
Anyway, I read her blog for a bit. As someone who struggles with the question of basic happiness on a regular basis – I always seem to be dissatisfied with something – I found it interesting to imagine a rigorous process through which we might correct ourselves in negative moments and remain happy. Or at least happier.
Aside from all of the insights, and the psychological tricks required to keep myself ‘thinking’ happy, I believe I have a list of physical requirements for happiness that must be met, and are much easier to quantify. Herein is my list of 8 physical requirements for happiness:
A full stomach. I can’t even think straight if I’m hungry, and I can get really snappy.
The correct temperature. I need to be relatively cool in the summer and warm in the winter.
Comfortable feet. Nothing can ruin my day more than barking dogs.
A clean body. If I catch a whiff of an errant or unexpected smell, I will be ‘off’ all day long.
Clothes that fit well. No distracting pulling or pinching or bagging or sagging.
A comfortable place to sit. I will choose a restaurant or other public place based on the comfort level of its seating. I have a sensitive tushie. I’m like the princess on the pea.
A quiet place to which I can retreat. As a proven introvert, this is very important. Like a dog, I need my own den.
Lots of sleep. Duh.
Most of these are abundantly obvious to any human, but I feel like they need to be itemized before we can dig into any psychological rules, which I’m still elaborating for myself.
Overall, I am pleased to report that I am a much happier person than I was a decade ago. There’s a certain happiness that comes with contentment, of course, and age and wisdom. Maturity teaches you not to sweat the small stuff or to be completely self-absorbed, and I’m sure hormones iron themselves out around your thirties as well. But as someone who once struggled with depression (and I can’t call it major, in retrospect, but it affected my quality of life at the time) I can say that I’m pleased as punch to feel the way I do most of the time. I have a few little secrets up my sleeve.
More on this tomorrow.
