It's finally arrived: the phase I've been waiting so impatiently for: Nora is talking. I mean, she's had words for awhile now – mama, daddy, Sasha, and random ones like knee, door and moon – but lately she has so many words that I feel like she will soon start stringing them together, that she's merely being coy and economical with them.
For a long time now, she has eerily understood everything we say. She will pick a word out of our sentences and go with it, like if she recognizes a word from one of her books she will run and get that book. If I say "do you see that caterpillar?" she will solemnly nod and then scamper off, returning with her Ten Little Caterpillars book. If I quote a line from Dr. Seuss, which I do with some frequency now that Dr. Seuss is being drilled into my head many times daily, she will run away and come back with that exact book. She recognizes them by the spines even, and will with one precise finger pull the correct book off of the shelf.
But lately she has really started to get conversational. I mean, they are short conversations, to be fair. I say a bunch of stuff to her and she will say one relevant word back at me, often the last word I said. If I ask her a question, she will either (and usually) say 'no', or she will repeat the last word, which is a vague indication of yes. She doesn't actually say 'yes' yet. Sometimes a fuzzy little 'yeaaahh' will come out but it's still not definite. So if I say 'do you want a bottle?' she will either say 'No', or she will say 'Baba', usually urgently, eyebrows raised.
The other day she was looking into a little evening bag I'd given her to play with, and when her Daddy asked her 'what's in your purse Nora?' she replied, clear as day, 'nothing!' And it was true – there was nothing in that bag.
But back to the topic of 'No'. I knew it was inevitable, I know that all toddlers get into a 'no' phase, but I don't think I expected it to hit so soon. Everything you ask her (almost) is answered with a 'no!' but it's not only the word itself, oh no. She says it in a tone and body language that indicates that I am being completely ridiculous even asking her that silly question. She scrunches her chin into her chest and rolls her eyes up and smiles and goes 'nyoooo'. It's pretty cute. I don't usually internalize her 'no's anyway, sorry to say. I realize she says it constantly (indeed she can often be found walking around just yelling 'NO!' at the top of her lungs to nothing in particular, and very often she chases the dog around yelling 'NO!' at her), and sometimes I suspect she means 'yes' but says 'no', so I usually just proceed anyway. If I get a second 'no' then I back off somewhat. In our house, right now, no doesn't always mean no.
I will admit that while she is speaking, I suspect that I am the only one who fully understands her. A lot of her words sound the same – Daddy and doggy require context to untangle, and movie, monkey and Mommy are pretty close. Movie is 'moo-me', monkey is 'mah-mmy' and Mommy is 'mummy.' In that category we also find mango, which is 'may-mo.' But she is trying, she is trying so very hard. She is chattering and vocalizing and figuring it all out. I know when she points to her sled and says 'wheee!' she wants to go for a ride, and I know that water is 'wa' and more is 'mo.' Also she knows most animal noises. What more does a girl need?
This comes at a very interesting time for me, because I took up my employer's offer to take American Sign Language classes, for two hours once a week. Not only has it been really cool to realize that you can indeed teach an old dog new tricks, but it has given me a small perspective into Deaf culture, which I'd never before stopped to consider, I'm sad to say. Learning about all the ways in which humans can communicate non-verbally has made it really interesting to come home and watch Nora, who is starting to use all of the tools available to her to make her needs known. We never taught her baby sign language – mostly because I never really felt we needed it, we understood each other from day one and between pointing and early words we are doing just fine – but I guess I can see how it would be beneficial with pre-verbal babies. I think it would benefit the parents almost as much if not more than the kids, because it really teaches you to pick up on their cues and pay close attention. I admit to having a bit of a problem with teaching babies sign language because I do feel that if they are able to be verbal, it behooves you to reinforce using language so that they pick it up and it doesn't become optional. I wouldn't want my three-year-old squeezing her hand together to ask for milk if she's perfectly able to say 'milk.' At a time of life when language skills are just being formed, I do feel it's important to encourage their tongues and palettes to work at forming words, as it takes practice practice practice to get those motions right.
All that aside, Mommy is loving sign language. Nobody around me seems interested in it, so I find myself signing in the kitchen, in the bath, on the toilet, in the car, etc. I hope I get to use it and the knowledge doesn't fade away like an unused muscle, because I feel it's been a real mind expansion learning about this exciting culture and way of being. It definitely takes you out of your comfort zone, and teaches you to consider language as being not only things that come out of your mouth but also your body language, actions, facial expressions and relationships. The first class was daunting, realizing that my instructor is Deaf, wondering if I would ever get the hang of it and be able to understand anything she's talking about. The hardest part of it for me has been learning to fingerspell, and making those movements flow naturally. I think it takes a ton of practice and I wish there was a way I could keep it up, a way that also fits my lifestyle (living far from the city, home with a baby, always tired). I don't want it to become another one of those interests I've had in my life that have come on with some intensity and then faded away. Like crochet and Vikings.
So Nora and I both continue to learn how to speak, and every day we take for granted how much we've learned and how far we've come.
