It’s that time of year again.

The Great Glebe Garage Sale is tomorrow and for some reason, I'm not as excited as I have been in previous years. Maybe it's because I'm nervous about walking for 5 hours straight, or finding myself without access to a bathroom, or because I feel like our house is already on the verge of becoming one of the places featured on that show Hoarders, but I am approaching this GGGS cautiously.

Every year, I have wandered the streets of the Glebe on the last Saturday in May thinking "man, if I was expecting a baby, this place would be mecca." However. I have since changed my tune. Already I'm feeling like the basement is filling up with other peoples' baby stuff, which I've politely been accepting but secretly feel like I really just want to buy all my own stuff new. No offense to any of my generous friends. That's part of the fun of having a baby, after all – buying baby stuff – and finally I'm allowed to. Also, lots of people have given me cute boy things and while I'm open to putting a girl in boys' clothes, there are limits, so I've picked through and found the gender-neutralest ones. Not to mention that I had a baby shower, with one more to come, and people have been so generous buying and making us stuff throughout so we're in really good shape stuff-wise. My kid already dresses better than I do and she's not even born yet.

The list of baby things I might want from the GGGS has now been whittled down, and includes: a cool old (but safe, don't freak out) high chair, infant lifejacket if I see one, interesting kids' books (as always), and maybe some toys like blocks or something classic, for later. As for the rest of the list, I am always looking for things for the garden (interesting pots, bits of kooky metal that I can stick here and there as decoration, etc), things for the future cottage, things to use up at the lake, and plants. Always plants. I'm thinking of planting a whack of different ferns and other large shade plants near the staircase leading into our yard, and sometimes there are interesting ferns to be had at the GGGS. If I see a neat large Persian rug I will also consider it. As well as baskets – I like baskets - and a badminton net and backgammon set.

I may also buy some old stuffed toys for Rosie, so she can toss them around and chew them up and there won't be any tragic loss, and maybe so that I can have a stash for when stuffed toys start coming in for the baby. So far, every stuffed toy that enters the house is highly coveted by Rosie, so that I have to hide them all. She goes mental, as though I'm holding a live partridge or something. Now, when she wants to go for a baby stuffy, I will instead produce a Rosie stuffy and try to teach her the difference between the two. Ha.

Another thing I'm nervous about is carrying stuff around. I guess I'll just bring a backpack and make hubby carry most of the load, since I'm already CARRYING HIS CHILD.

Speaking of said child, she is getting to the size now where her once-adorable little flutters have turned into sharp jabs in the bladder. Yesterday I felt her head through my gut, so now I can give her a solid poke if she hurts me. I'm kidding, I'm not about corporal punishment. But I'd like to figure out how to convince her to shift a bit because right now (at 29 weeks) she's breech. I guess there's lots of time for her to flip still, but my tummy's a bit lopsided as a result. Her wee shoulder blade appears to sit squarely under my bellybutton, which feels hella weird. I also lost two pounds in the past two weeks, which they say is fine since it's been +1,200 degrees outside and I've just sweated it all out, and don't feel like eating when it's so hot. Also I've been really active, gardening, going up to the land, etc. so no surprise, really. I've still gained 15 lbs overall, so all's well.

The garden is another story. Every year I go into it thinking I've got a nice plan, everything will be planted in careful tidy rows, I will employ companion planting to maximize space and harvest, and I will only grow things that we can feasibly eat. And every year that plan gets messed up. I go into the garden in late May with good intentions to turn the soil, work in more earth and compost, take out all the weeds, build up nice straight rows (and mounds for the squash). Then I look around and realize that well, one corner is dominated by rhubarb, the other has two blueberry plants in it that I stuck there last year, the back row's taken up with the garlic I planted in fall, the cilantro's already started occupying the entire central area of the garden, the strawberries have all migrated into the pathways, one whole side has been reclaimed by the lawn, the leeks that I planted about 4 years ago are up again and are STILL not big enough to make one decent soup, and there's mint coming up all over the damn place. And I'm seven months pregnant. I end up not turning the soil for fear of disturbing the things that are perennial to the garden, so I just sort of gamely work in bits of compost here and there where the precious annual plants go (tomatoes, peppers, squash). I try to do it all in one evening because I am impatient, and once I'm in there, the bugs are so bad that I don't bother weeding, I just sort of use the hand-rake to muck up the cracked, hardscrabble earth, yank out some quack grass, and drop a bunch of seeds in a relatively straight row. I pat the rows closed, smack a few mosquitos, and move on to the next seed packet in a frenzied rush to move faster than the blackflies.

I had 23 tomato seedlings in the grow-op. I put them in the garden, and two days later I have 11. My squash seedlings are up, and I put in four jalapeno peppers that I bought (so they have a fighting chance). I did some emergency work on the tomatoes last night so they should make it. I also was pleasantly surprised to find that the broccoli seeds I half-heartedly stuck in around the garlic have all come up and are now healthy-looking three-inch seedlings. Last night I planted cucumbers in and around the cilantro, and zucchini in and around the leeks. I have four basil plants – three regular and one thai – adjacent to the tomatoes, and marigolds throughout. I'll take some photos once things start coming up because frankly, the garden looks like crap right now. This weekend I need to find a rich sunny spot for some watermelon seeds…. Hm hm hm. They may be relegated to a large pot of somesort.

It's been unseasonably warm, so we're tricked into thinking everything's GOT TO GO IN OR ELSE, but really, it's only late May. My pots are all done up on the deck (though the plants are still wee) and most of the garden's in, so I'm in good shape. All I have to do now is weed the perennial garden, plant the ferns and shade plants I'm getting tomorrow at the GGGS, and do some tidying, and then I can just sit back and drink iced tea and gestate.

May Two-Four

This weekend is the famed May 2-4 long weekend. And boy oh boy am I excited about it. Not for any great particular reason, just that I took Tuesday off so I have a four-day stretch of home-stuff ahead of me.

Saturday we have our day-long prenatal class. Jury's out on how useful this will be, but I want them to tell me A) at what point I'll need to go to the hospital, and B) how to make it hurt a bit less. The rest of the info I've been getting out of the doctors, who have been really helpful. I have a nice hospital, a nice team of doctors (so far, I've only met ¼ of them) and I'm really vocal (haha), so I don't have thousands of questions left.

After that we are picking up an Austrian carpenter at the airport. His name is George and he's being sent here to finish off brother-in-law's cottage, build the kitchen, the stairs, etc. I look forward to meeting him and seeing his work. We'll feed him and then Sunday we'll bring him up there and leave him to it. Perhaps we will get started on our dock while we're up there, and we'll finally bring Rosie up and let her swim to her heart's content – first time this year.

Monday hubby would like to fish, which will be fine as I'm sure I'll appreciate a day to myself by then as well. My plan is to garden: I'm gonna buy all my annuals, fill my pots with soil, and plant plant plant. This weekend everything will go in – the tomatoes (which I will have to harden off in the next couple of days), the squash seeds, bean seeds, nasturtiums, maybe some bok choy, and I might buy some pepper plants too just 'cause I'm stubborn and cannot accept a pepper-free lifestyle. I've already planted some basil (had to buy it – mine never came up) and broccoli, which is tiny but THERE, and the spinach and cilantro are about an inch-and-a-half high. The garden's overrun by mint, and rhubarb, and the garlic seems to be ok as well though I don't know that my second batch is really up yet. Oh, I will plant the potatoes this weekend too. What the heck, the weather's been really warm lately, and we need to get a move on.

Then I have Tuesday. Both days promise to be hot and sunny so who knows what the day will hold for me? There's some stuff in the baby's room that could be finished off, and I'm sure some cleaning to be done (more on this later) but I think I may do arts and crafts that day. Or at least the hottest part of that day. I may also build a little twig fence to hopefully keep the dog out of the perennial garden because she's trampled some of my irises and alliums, and I am not happy about this.

Back to the cleaning; did I mention that I have a cleaning lady now? Two cleaning ladies actually, a mother-daughter team. They came last Thursday for the first time and spent 3 hours moving furniture and cleaning corners of my house that have never been touched by human hands (at least not my human hands). Their rate is reasonable, and they claim they can do the dusting, pet hair removal, bathroom, kitchen and floors in an hour every second week. We still have some boundary issues to work out (for example, they don't have to take out our recycling because hubby is very particular about that, and they don't have to go upstairs) but all in all I am pleased and excited, and it relieves a lot of pressure, arguments and strain on my growing body.

So woooo May 2-4. I hope you all have a cold beer for me.

Working for a Living

Like many of you out there, I have to work for a living. I wasn't born into ridiculous wealth and I didn't marry dear hubby for his money (just for his looks ha ha. Hi honey!), so unfortunately I have to wake up every morning, get dressed, and haul my sleepy bones to work in order to pay the bills and buy dog food.

Not everyone works. I know some people who are work-averse and other friends who don't need to work, and other friends who are stay-at-home moms who work hard every day but are independent contractors, as it were. I know at least one person for whom work is a luxury, a personal decision, but that is not something that I like to think about. I know a person who claims not to be able to work and is on long-term disability, flying under the radar for years now, healthily enjoying life, milking the system, but that person is not considered a friend of mine.

My job is fairly easy overall. I don't save lives, I don't work in a factory, I'm not an aid worker in a ravaged war-torn country, I don't have to haul dead bodies out of rivers, and I'm not an astronaut. I have a largely administrative job and they pay me well to do it. I sit at a desk all day and type away on a computer that is so slow I want to throw it out the window, but that's a minor frustration really. I complain that my desk chair is uncomfortable or that my desk is messy (jam on the keyboard is lovely, and insidious), but I try to keep it all in check. My phone rings too much, and sometimes I feel like I should have a psychology degree under my belt before I can answer it, but truth be told I rarely pick it up so out of sight out of mind. All this to say, I have complaints, but they are relatively minor.

My colleagues are mostly great. But you don't get to hand-pick your colleagues, so there are some strange ones in the bunch. There are over 200 people working at my office, and it's impossible to expect to be in love with every single one of them. There are some who I avoid like the plague, some who I have never spoken to once in six years, some who I speak to but I don't know why (pleasantries in the bathroom, etc), and some who I am genuinely fond of. Herewith is a list of some types of colleagues in my office, and please, feel free to let me know if you have these types in your office as well:

1. Stinky Food Man. Every day he opens a can of salmon or tuna and does something to it that makes the entire floor smell like fish. My office is next to the kitchen, and this is unbearable. It's almost as bad as his cohort, Delicious Pastry Man. This is the person who insists on putting waffles or cinnamon buns in the toaster oven to warm them up. I can't decide who's worse. I can't blame either one because food is delicious, and essential, but every day? Really?
   

   
    

2. The Never-Worker. Where I sit, I see all of the traffic going in and out of the main doors to our floor. It's a constant parade of comings and goings, which is distracting as holy heck, but also kind of informative. I have learned that there are about 3 people on our floor who seem to perpetually be out for coffee or cigarettes. Seriously, over the past week I've been keeping track, and there's one guy who must have a condition wherein he is only be able to sit down for 10 minutes at a time because he's constantly walking to the elevators and back. Coincidentally, most of these folks are nearing retirement.
   

   
    

3. The VIP. The opposite of the never-worker. This person is always in more of a hurry than you, always busier than you are, always working late, always working weekends, never really friendly, and is always plowing around head-down clacking away on her blackberry. They generally eat lunch after 2 pm. I doubt this person. The days are long and if you're smart, you can organize your workday so that you don't have to come in on Sundays, but hey then you don't get paid time and a half so who's the dummy here? We do the same kind of work. I should practice looking busier. Maybe come in on the weekend to water my plants and surf the web or something.
   

   
    

4. The Over-Emoter. I'm sure everyone has these. They're generally female, unfortunately, which I feel gives us a bad name as a gender. These are the people who come into your office uninvited, close the door behind them and proceed to get upset about some perceived slight, ending up in tears, expecting your sympathy. Personally, I try to project an air of "you've come to the wrong office sister", but this doesn't always work with the Over-Emoter, who is generally lacking in self-awareness. The Over-Emoter is six times more irritating if they are also The VIP.
   

   
    

5. Gregarious IT guy. They come to your office to fix your computer and you end up getting into lengthy discussions about your cats, and then all of a sudden they're friending you on facebook.
   

   
    

6. The Athlete. They come into the office in their bike shorts, sweaty, helmets in hand, recounting tales of great feats performed over the weekend. They have boundless energy and are always planning something very exciting. They wear those little clickity clacky bike shoes (I even have one colleague who wore cross-country ski boots all day this past spring) and are sometimes carrying a wheel, or a snowboard, or some obscure clip for some sport that I have never tried. They generally make me feel bad about myself, without intending to of course.
   

   
    

7. The Compulsive Emailer. You probably have these in your office and in your family, or in your circle of friends. These are the people who forward you everything. How many times have I seen the same slideshow of baby animals, or animals doing funny things, or animals with inspirational slogans attributed to them? It's funny because I receive so many dirty jokes, yet my brain is a sieve when it comes to re-telling them. You'd think I'd have an encyclopedic repertoire of off-colour jokes by now but alas, they've all gone to waste on me.
   

   
    

8. The Medicine Cabinet. I know that when I have a headache, there are two people I can go to for relief. When they open up their overhead cabinets, it looks like a pharmacy threw up in it. They have everything from aspirin to allergy pills to pepto-bismol to hand cream to visine to antacids to strange teas to extra-strength prescription painkillers that you could try if you wanted to… I try to be this person, within reason. I keep Tums in my drawer but I end up eating them when things get desperate. I have a lint roller and a stain remover somewhere back there as well, because I have two sheddy pets, and a knack for squirting mustard or coffee all over every white shirt I wear. However, I am nothing compared to the medicine cabinet.
   

   
    

9. The Loudmouth. This is the person who unfailingly speaks up at meetings, like Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter. They cannot help themselves. You can hear them talking on the phone through the walls, and they often like to stand in the hallway right outside your office engaged in some lively debate about something or other, loudly. Their voice is a couple of decibels higher than anyone else's, causing you to wonder if they are ignorant, hard of hearing, or both. Sometimes they are discussing the hockey game, sometimes they are actually talking about work, but always you want to tell them to shut their trap, because the person on the other end of your phone call can hear every word.
   

   
    

10. The Compadre. It helps to have a Compadre at work. This is the person you rant to when something goes awry, the person who's usually up for a lunch date or some shopping adventure, the person with whom you share bug-eyes at meetings. The person with whom you can speculate on whether or not your other colleague might be in a cult, or is just losing their marbles. Some people have an opposite-sex Compadre which can also be termed the "work-husband" or "work-wife", but my current Compadre is a gay man. We both like to eat, a lot, and knit, and plan our gardens. The Compadre makes one's work more enjoyable, in general.
    

    
     

These are just some of the 10 types that I have encountered during my short career. I am being relatively diplomatic of course, because there are also the psychos, the jerks, the bullies and the incompetents, but we have those in every walk of life. I wish I could go into detail about the really harmlessly crazy ones at my office, but what if they read this blog one day? They'd definitely know who they are.

Being as it is now May, I will only enjoy the companionship of these folks for another three months. Minus three days. I won't miss them at all (except maybe my Compadres) but that's because I really look forward to stepping back and out of office life for a year. My brain totally checked out about a month ago, I'm sad to report, so I'm counting the days (62) until I say farewell to Stinky Food Man, the Neverworker, the VIP, the OverEmoter, my IT guy, my Medicine Cabinet, the E-mailer (though presumably this one could still get through to me), the Athlete, the Loudmouth and my Compadre, who doesn't have a car so won't be able to come and regale me in person with tales of crazy coworkers and injustices. No, I won't miss these people – I know they or someone like them will be there when I return. I probably won't visit either, as people sometimes do when they have a baby, parading them up and down the hallways. The office is no place for an infant. She'll have plenty of exposure to these wacky people in her own career, I'm sure.