Gadgetry

The other day I received my new laptop in the mail. I have been at home for awhile now – two months to be precise – and I have learned about the powers and dangers of online shopping. A week or so ago, my cousin (also on maternity leave) emailed me to ask would I like to Skype with her that afternoon? Why yes, I would like to Skype. However, I did not have Skype, nor did I have a camera on my old dinosaur of a desktop.

So I promptly went online and bought myself a laptop. This may seem to have been a rash decision at first glance but in fact I'd been thinking of it for some time – my desktop didn't have enough memory to play a game that I'd downloaded, and I wanted to be more mobile and connected in my maternity leave, so I'd been thinking of making the switch a long time ago.

I have since experienced a few frustrations with this new machine that I foolishly hadn't foreseen. For one, my internet connection is dependent on cell phone reception – I have a wireless key – but cell phone reception is no great shakes at my place. Turns out that the best place to get internet reception is actually in the same place as my old desktop so duh, not as mobile as I'd thought. The other frustration is that the old dinosaur came from a 95-year-old man's house, and he'd already installed Microsoft Office etc. So I had Word, Excel, all the other stuff I use regularly, and this one only has a 60-day free trial version. Expect a lot of blog entries for the next 60 days. What my computer does have are a bunch of weird and useless programs that I haven't yet figured out. There are apparently games on here too but I haven't had time to play them yet.

I have a feeling that the next bit of technology to enter our house will be a new t.v. I realized today, as I watched DVD episodes of Flight of the Conchords on my laptop, that our television screen is so blurry that I almost didn't recognize Brett and Jemaine in their crystal-clarity. The computer puts the t.v. to shame. Also tonight I noticed that the lower right-hand corner of our t.v. monitor is green – as in, everything on the screen in that corner goes green. I think the television is almost as old as my little brother so I have no problem replacing it, it's just that we have to amortize all of this technology a bit.

More technology: yesterday I went to town and broke down and bought the super-duper breast pump, as it seems my little gal is a lazy sucker and doesn't really breastfeed (just for snacks), so I pump and feed her breast milk with a bottle. We are still committed to feeding her breast milk, which makes it compliqué for me. Also, this way I know how much she's getting and can obsess over it daily (ok hourly – I have to restrain myself from creating an Excel spreadsheet for it all). I have hopes that this will change someday, but in the meantime, I needed an effective milk-removal system that isn't $80 a month to rent, as who knows how long I'll need to use it? This one is called the Medela Freestyle pump and it claims hands-free mobility. The instructions boast that I will be able to do such activities as read a book, write emails, talk on the phone and other simple tasks and indeed, I am pumping this very minute (does that make you feel weird?) but I would suggest other helpful things I can do while pumping: go to the bathroom, sweep the floor, fold the laundry, and tend to my baby when she barfs all over herself. Thing is, their idea of hands-free isn't exactly simple. I look like I'm wearing a giant rubber rack on my chest, there are so many separate and interlocking parts that assembling and disassembling it each time is a chore. The pump itself sounds like large animals having sex. I need to hide it somewhere or wrap it in a towel or something. The whole thing comes in a "cute tote bag" as the company calls it, which is handy, though the tote bag is black, which is not so cute. I mean, it's handy, so they should call it a "handy tote bag" you know? It's just a black bag. Anyway, I have my own milker. The resale on these things is crazy so I'm not worried about having bought it, and hubby brought up the point that we could always get a goat someday. In the meantime, I may go as Lady Gaga for Halloween or something. Or a dairy cow.

So right now I am wired, on my new laptop, wearing the milking harness of insanity, listening to this pump groaning away and the baby gurgling in her crib. The crappy side of pumping is that I can't hold the baby while I'm doing it, but at least I keep her in close range. She and I are working it out but we are reliant on technology and gadgetry – the pump, the baby swing seat, the crib. We went out yesterday, to the doctor and shopping, and she was a perfect angel but for a not-quite-ten-pound baby, she sure takes up a lot of space. She goes in the carseat, which is mounted onto the stroller (my beloved BOB), with the diaper bag tucked underneath her. It's like a whole caravan, and she kind of disappears in it. When we go for walks, we're either in the carseat-stroller combo or today (because hubby took the stroller to work with him by mistake) she was in the baby carrier, which I also wear around the house. I wear her while cooking dinner, while wandering around the yard, or for 'rock and roll time', where I put on music and sing and dance in the living room (I think it's important for all babies to have rock and roll time). Anyway to my chagrin my house is filling up with baby gear and I'm starting to feel a bit squeezed out, or like I'm cheating somehow. I used to come from the whole "let them play with cardboard boxes and tin cans" school of thought when it came to baby gear but like it was with our dog, it's a slippery slope to just doing whatever you can to avoid rocking the boat. Before we know it Nora will be eating table scraps and sleeping in the bed.