Rationalization Exercise

Benefits of returning to work:

- I can wear nice clothes again. I mean, I could’ve worn my nice clothes while on mat leave, but why bother cleaning barf and dog hair off of them unecessarily?

- I can go to the washroom all by myself again, and take my time. No longer do I have to watch that the baby doesn’t fall headfirst into the bathtub while I’m on the toilet (if you saw me, I’d be sitting there leaning over holding onto the back of her pants), or listen for sickening thuds from the other room.

- Today I wrote a note with a pen and nobody was grabbing it while I was writing. Also, all the keys on this computer are intact because nobody has flicked them off with their little fingers. Yet.

- I ate a portobello sandwich with goat’s cheese on a ciabatta bun for lunch, and someone else made it for me. Disadvantage: it was $8.

- I get to ride with one of my oldest friends. Today we talked about pig slaughtering!

- If I need to buy something, I don’t have to dress two people, carry one out the door while she’ s grabbing my sunglasses off of my head and sticking them into my eyes, buckle her into the carseat, and do the same thing in reverse on the way home. I just grab my wallet and step out of my office for a minute.

- Grown-up talk.

- My mom/daycare lady gets the morning poop.

- Nora eats really well at Oma daycare so I worry a lot less about her intake on these days.

- I don’t have the dog whining at me all the damn time.

- There are some pretty fun people working here. Part of me looks forward to the office craziness and missed all of the gossip.

- They give me a substantial amount of money to be here.

Disadvantages of returning to work:

- 5:30 a.m. wake-up.

- I am expected not to smell badly.

- Public washrooms.

- There will be days when I have to work late, or even travel for short periods. I am not looking forward to those days.

- I feel like I’m handing the parenting of my child over to someone else.

- I am worried that Nora will not be happy at daycare. When I left her there last week she cried and cried, until she fell asleep.

- I have to stay awake all day long, and interacting with humans all day is exhausting. Last night I fell asleep on the couch before 9:00.

- Some colleagues are still annoying after all this time.

- Nora is tired by the time I get home, so I don’t get her at her best. She falls asleep at 7:30 so I really only see her for two and a half hours a day.

- Dear god I miss that child.