Cottage Livin'

I am pleased to report that I can now answer all of those people who, upon hearing that hubby and I were building a cottage, said “you live in the country. Why do you need a cottage?”

Ways in which our house is not a cottage:

- Drinking water comes out of the tap.

- Our road is being paved as I write this.

- In any given hour, approximately 9 cars will drive quickly right past my house.

- My dog, if loose, might run over and irritate the neighbors or worse, attack their dog. She has developed an irrational and intense dislike of the sweet dog next door.

- My dog might get hit by one of those 9 cars that drive quickly past my house.

- I can hear my neighbors talking on their deck. And I’m sure they can hear me.

- Sometimes, at home, the radio is on, the t.v. is on, and I am on the computer. All at once.

- At home, if I need something, I can drive to the store quickly and get it.

- My well has its limits.

- There are always chores to do at home. Not fun chores, but things like laundry folding, floor washing, dusting, vacuuming, plant-watering, lawn mowing, ironing, furniture cleaning. If I try to sit down and relax, one of those beasts is always calling my name.

- In our evening fatigue, we usually sit speechless in front of the t.v.

- In the 10 years since we bought our house, somehow our neighborhood has become more of a suburb than a country road.

Ways in which our cottage is not our house:

- There is no limit to the water that comes out of the tap, but you can’t drink it. We just drink beer instead.

- Our road is 2.5 acres away from our cottage, through the bush. Said road is a nearly-undriveable rock pile-slash-dirt track. We have no idea who is driving past when.

- No car can drive faster than 40kmh past our property without doing major damage.

- My dog, loose, runs over and irritates the neighbors all the time and their dog does the same. Since we are family, it’s all expected and all good. She goes no further than the lower property limits of our two lots and is always within sight of someone.

- There’s a stronger chance my dog will get hit by a motorboat than a car at the cottage. Or perhaps an aggressive loon.

- I can hear the neighbors talk only if they are doing construction projects and they have to shout over power tools, or if they are calling one another to dinner, but that’s about it. Also: they are family, we love each other, it is not an issue.

- At the cottage there is no electricity. Hence, no internet, radio, television, and my cellphone charge only lasts 2 days. Blissful silence, broken only by the abovementioned aggressive loons.

- At the cottage, if I need something, I will walk across and ask the neighbors. If they don’t have it, I will live without. Dinner planning is simple when the nearest grocery store is 45 minutes away.

- The chores that need to be done at the cottage are fun chores. Sweep the sand off of the couch. Wash the dishes after each meal because the kitchen is small and I only have 6 plates. Maybe throw the duvet onto the deck railing so it airs out. Build stuff. Organize stuff. Fun chores!

- In the evenings, we have options: game nights, where the two families get together in some combination for rousing evenings of games and wine; fishing nights, where hubby and nephew go fishing until dark and I stay home, put Nora to bed, then read on the couch with the dog snoring beside me; or we can always sit on the deck listening to the litany of owls, wolves, loons, distant motorboats, or any combination of the above.

So yeah, smartypantses, I have learned over the last two weeks that country life and cottage life are nowhere near the same thing. Now that I am being unwillingly dragged into suburban living kicking and screaming (even though I am still technically surrounded by trees) I am certainly happy to have at least one refuge in the woods.