My Favourite Uncelebrated Holiday

Happy Hallowe'en y'all. Today is my favourite holiday of the year.


(crickets)


Once again, I've disappointed myself by inadequately observing the glorious night that is halloween. After last year's disappointing participation (I think we had about 12 kids total), we vowed that this year we'd do it up right: have a huge party, totally overhaul/decorate the house, buy all manner of creepy things throughout the year, and make it really memorable. Do it up right. Then life happened (364 days of it) and we got a dog, and our perspective changed. Currently, I can't imagine having the time to clean my house let alone completely overhaul it for a day. Also, I can't imagine getting to a place where Rosie won't insist on chewing on random stuff, eating firewood, and jumping on everyone, thereby destroying/being injured by any intricate costumes worn by potential partygoers.

NEXT YEAR. I will send Rosie to gramma's house and have a real party, I swear. According to my handy 16-month united way calendar, which marks paydays and other important holidays, Halloween is on a Saturday in 2009, so perhaps that will be my motivation to do it up right. They had these awesome black roses at the Giant Tiger that I should have bought. Perhaps they'll be half-price tomorrow (note to self: shop tomorrow). Also, I will need the full year to construct the amazing and terrifying lawn/home décor required. Once my home renos are done perhaps I'll have some time to devote to this (ha.) Do you think that childrens' trick-or-treating will get in the way of my party plans?

For now, I'm going to have to be content with the pumpkin that Rosie and I carved late last night (Rosie carved it WITH HER TEETH), my orange jacket, and the Mars bars and Twizzlers I bought for the inevitable 10 kids who will show up at my door. Shoot maybe I should buy more candy. I had thought I might be able to dress Rosie up and pass her off as a kid so I can scam more candy for myself, but that might be hard. I wanted to tie fake arms to her and pretend she's actually a three-year old, dressed up as a dog, but perhaps that treads too close to the pathetic line. Next year, I am totally renting children.