Cozy Feet

I am knitting socks.

I am the kind of person who would learn stonework and then immediately set out to build the great pyramids.

I learned how to knit last January after convincing myself for about 15 years that I was somehow unable to knit, or that I hated it too much or found it too boring to want to try it again. I made my grandfather a red knit tie (on his request - don't ask) back in the day, and I cursed every stitch. The pattern and the groove of the knitting never stuck in my brain, I have virtually no memory of making the thing, just that I hated it.

So when everyone in the world took up knitting last year, and because my mother had been harrassing me for ages to pick it up again, I decided to ask my mom for a tutorial over coffee one Saturday.

She quickly taught me the basic garter stitch. Bo-ring. I asked to learn the knit-purl stitch, so that was a bit of excitement. Within 20 minutes I asked her how increase and decrease, so that was a quick lesson. Then I was onto patterns in contrasting colours, which took another 20 minutes. My mom is a fabulous teacher, we know each other so well and speak the same language.

I went home and started messing around. I made experimental cat toys filled with catnip and stuffing, including one vaguely mouse-shaped thing. I started to knit something that had no form yet but which I was convinced would become a baby sweater with striped sleeves and a black cat head on the front. Ha.

I bought a bit of soft green acrylic at the local Giant Tiger and started on a sampler using a book of stitches mom lent me. I did cables. I did a basket weave stitch (my favourite). I learned all of those little tricky devils at once, and how to read patterns. Please note that I am not still talking about the same day, but rather a span of about 3 weeks. My mom gave me my paternal grandmother's collection of 1950's plastic psychedelic-coloured knitting needles so then I was really off to the races.

Then I bought the Stitch and Bitch book. I am a bit disappointed in it because most of the patterns are nothing that I'd ever wear or use, and I find many of them to be sloppily done (that bunny hat for babies sticks in my mind. The ear flaps are nowhere near the kid's ears). But the instructions are very helpful for beginners.

Next I made a baby sweater using an old pattern of my mom's, and it turned out fabulously. I made a variety of booties out of scraps of yarn. Then I used the S n'B book to make a little red baby beret featuring a black skull and crossbones on the front. I have discovered that the best routine is to use old patterns with new wools in new colours and switch it up a bit.

The next thing to tackle: Socks. My Waterloo.

My maternal grandmother is dutch (her name is Oma). She is a human knitting machine who can practically do one perfect sock in a night. She has been making socks since she was 7 years old, and she's now 80, so that's 73 years' worth of socks. I am terrified of the day that the flow of socks stops coming. But I wanted to surprise Oma with my new sock fixation, so I stubbornly bought a book. Well. None of the book patterns can match up to hers, and so I ended up having to call her to talk me through the turning of the heel. She did it without batting an eye, without even picking up her own knitting at the other end of the phone line. She's amazing and the heel turned out perfectly. The socks ended up coming out two different sizes, but at least the stitches are all perfect.

I've now decided that I'm going to knit Oma a pair of socks for Christmas. She gives them to us grandkids every year, but I've never seen her wearing them herself. I think it'll be hilarious to present her with her own lovingly-knitted pair. I am a stubborn little curr so plowed ahead on my own. I got pretty far - I only needed a talk-through on the second part of the heel-turning (I lied and told her this is a practice sock) - and I think I'm finally getting it. Although hubby did affectionately ask me what sizeS these are going to be.

Next year, everyone knows what they're getting for Christmas.