I buy food.

My husband and I have a somewhat unorthodox way of managing household expenses. More traditional folks have looked at our system and wondered why we go through all the trouble and not just do it their way, but for us, it works. What we do is, we save all receipts for things that are shared expenses; this category includes things like groceries (I buy most of them), gas (hubby buys most of it), bills (I pay them) and other incidental things like furniture or goo-gaws from garage sales or the occasional “hey I have no money in my wallet can I borrow 20 bucks?” Half of all of these amounts are written down into two columns – what I pay and what hubby pays – and every two weeks we ‘tally’ these two columns up, or balance them against each other. Since I have paid more things (mortgage, bills, etc) whatever he has paid for is put against this to come up with the amount that he owes me. Then he pays up through our shared account, which is really just a ‘bounce’ account.

This is good for a few reasons: we can itemize all the things we spend money on and figure out what our household expenses generally are, we can track trends and major projects, and it’s an easy way for me to pay the bills but for each of us to still have our own accounts, so we don’t bicker over the small stuff (like shoes I might buy at Winners, or the fishing stuff he buys constantly). Nobody feels slighted, and we have never once fought about money. So far, so good.

Adding it all up and looking at it over a number of months, I figure that our household expenses – everything from groceries and gas to mortgage to phone bill and hydro and insurance – usually averages between $1800 and $2400 a month. This doesn’t include personal expenses, like entertainment or clothes or the hairdresser or those shoes I was talking about earlier. Since we make considerably more than that in a month, I often get to wondering where I’m spending all that extra money. Sure I have investments, and other accounts with little pockets of money here and there, but something is eating up a large part of my budget and I needed to get to the bottom of it.

And then I held that thought and went downstairs to get something to eat and realized: I buy food.

I’m not an enormous person - I’m a healthy size, pretty tall for a girl, medium active – but man can I pack it away. Here’s today’s menu: coffee from home, a breakfast sandwich (no bacon – this means English muffin, egg, cheese) from the shop downstairs, a Caesar salad from the salad place downstairs, and no doubt I will head down around 3 or 3:30 for a coffee and a cookie because salad never fills me up and I have yet to really internalize that lesson. That list doesn’t even include dinner or wine or after-school snacks – in fact, our dinners are so economical, my lunch costs about twice what my dinner costs, on average. The breakfast sandwich is $2.60, the salad was $7.55, and the coffee and cookie will be about $3.00. Add that up! That’s $13 bucks per workday down my gullet! I am an idiot!

I have really good intentions. I bought a beautiful metal one-cup Bodum at a garage sale in Toronto in August, and have since failed to buy a supply of coffee, cream and sugar to go with it. It sits on my bookshelf looking terrific and virtuous but it’s pristine for a reason. We have a huge cupboard at home filled with plastic food storage containers of all kinds but I don’t have to worry about Bisphenol-A because I never fill them with anything. Even when I do prepare a nice little lunch the night before, I unfailingly forget it in the fridge.

I think the truth of it is that I like to buy food. Nothing makes me feel more at peace with the world than going to the market to buy vegetables, or hitting the Italian specialty shop for some nice cheese and ‘authentic’ pasta. This carries over into my work life, because let’s face it, food from home is boring. That and I don’t love sandwiches. I see colleagues walk by my office with plates of re-heated lasagna or salads brought from home and it doesn’t appeal to me at all. I have home food and then I have the entire world of work food and I like it that way. Every day at 11:45 I think ‘what will it be today? Indian? Thai? Salad? Sushi?’ and my life feels all the richer for it, even if my bank account is not. Sometimes it makes me feel stupid or dirty (last week I bought a pizza for $8.95 that turned out to be a SMALL pita bread with toppings. That’s a snack at my house), but mostly it keeps the line between work and home firmly drawn.

I have officially accounted for another $275 out of my monthly budget. Now I have to figure out where the rest of it goes.